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Q1SP: Shamsp3: "The Age Of The No Penis Mapper"
Small semi-speedmap inspired by Baker's words of wisdom in the penis thread above. Features coop compatibility and hopefully coop-suitable gameplay (may or may not be brutal in SP skill 2).

Obviously as a 2-3 day map it's fairly primitive, but I had a lot of fun making it and it suits the "make decent but not excessively ambitious maps" ethos I promote to newer mappers.


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Have A Demo 
Dicks Everywhere 
Brush dicks, water dicks, teleport dicks and torch dicks. Gameplay wasn't dicks, though, although in my playthrough a Fiend spawned as an oddly stoic and solid obstacle that I was forced to noclip through repeatedly to finish the map, which was odd. Here's a few demos; first is a normal skill 2 playthrough (11:54, 2/4 secrets, 69/75 kills), the second is a no-kill 'speed' run (really big quotes there). 
Is This Map Supposed To Be Humor? 
And where are the vaginas (or the ass holes)? A dick cannot be alone, or it would be limp. 
'A Dick Cannot Be Alone' 
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
Fucking Hell JCR. 
God knows how you managed to get away with that, totally chaotic gameplay, you should have been dead at least 6 times. GGWP, really fun demo to watch. Nice little Quad run too. 
Couldn't play the demo, was it recorded in MarkV or some wack shit like that?? 
Fun map and layout. I think the enemy density was a little on the high side though I usually prefer it that way. I'd say it was a successful speed map, sophomore jokes aside :D 
"shambler randomly becomes good, prolific mapper" sounds like a right cock-and-bull story, but nope, turns out he doesn't dick around! 
Very good.

JCR you did play pretty flamboyantly, if you're slower the map is easier. BUT I agree it is monster dense, that's to make it more fun in coop - including attacks from multiple directions to be suitable for two players.

Cos, like, being able to map like that is the true mark of a skilled mapper. Or something. FFS. 
nobody plays coop anyways! 
•••Several people are typing... 
I really like the screenshot, downloading 

fucking more like this.
Also, fuck I hope this sounds not shitty. But I believe and really like that you're going with your ethos. 
Cool map. Smooth game play. Died maybe 4 times before it dawned on me that I should probably employ some actual tactics. I might try to co-op it with Sir H.

Expected dick, was not disappointed. A+ 
Cheers Guys 
But I believe and really like that you're going with your ethos.

LOL, my ethos is all the dick?!

Expected dick, was not disappointed. A+

Extra LOL :D 
Is This The Only Outcome Of Your No Penis Jam? 
Speedmap session cancelled due to lack of penis. I don't mind, I had fun doing this one :) 
no penis mappers lacked balls too... 
I'm still waiting for Baker to play this in coop. 
I wasn't too crazy about the single player combat although I know that it was meant for co-op. JCR made it look easy but I had a few deaths due to getting caught in some unwinnable situations. Pretty good execution of your intended concept and not too shabby for a map whipped up pretty quickly. Some of the texture choices were nice like the pipes and wiring for the shaft on one penis to really drive home the veiny appearance.

If Baker ever comes back, I will gladly join him for some co-op in order to experience the map as intended. 
Platform Issue 
I also forgot to add that the player is kind of screwed if they jump down from the highest level after activating the platform since there's no way to make it come back down if you didn't trigger it before jumping down. I had to rocket jump back up a few times and luckily I got by with 1 HP to spare. 
Oh I Thought The Button Could Still Be Pressed? 
My bad if it can't. Glad you had some fun and appreciated the veiny experience. 
Playable In Shrak Apparently. 
Worst News Of 2020. 
And that includes gems like "global pandemic" and "that time Trump almost started WW3 in Iran". 
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