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Duke Nukem Forever Thread
OK, You've heard the hype, you've got bored with it, and you've stopped listening. But it's actually happened - Duke Nukem Forever has shipped, and I'm playing it. I can honestly say that it's a great game! It's kinda old-school, but it's modern enough in it's game-play, it's very silly in places, and I think that it makes an authentic sequel to the original. The monster design is fantastic IMO and the level design really does have a great style. The game is very varied throughout, and it's full of surprises. I'm loving it - haven't even got to the desert levels yet.......
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I Want An... 
.. ingame video to judge on it !! ;) 
right now i'm at the hive-2, and all thats assholes :shocked: 
Well I've heard a wide variety of opinions on it - from that its downright terrible to "I can honestly say that it's a great game!" so the truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Also, CZG pointed out that the person in the stall where the glory hole is located is actually a dude, so unless you're gay, don't stick your weiner in the glory hole. It's a trap. 
Gotta Say 
those youtube vids don't really make me want to play. at all. :(

only two guns, typical 'lock the player in a tiny space and script monsters to spawn in small groups' style gameplay as like... every other shooter out there.
i also really hate hl2 right now for introducing infinite ammo crates. what a crutch. :(

it was funny when duke said 'pork chop sandwiches' though. 
CZG Had Some Good Comments On This In #tf 
Someone should post the log from yesterday morning, sounds like he was speaking sense for a change. 
The Video 
does that guy play with reduced graphics settings or does it have the most horrible textures i've seen in a while? 
It's gonna suffer a lot from Daikatana syndrome, isn't it? No matter how good or bad it might be, most people will already have a preconcieved opinion of it and that's what you're going to hear about more than anything else.

Haven't bought it yet, but I probably will soon enough. Sometime next week maybe. 
OK, I Killed The Queen 
Now I've been playing for quite some time and made a lot of progress. I'm way out in the desert and I've done atleast 50 miles in my monster truck. I'm having a great time.

Here's some footage of that: 
That Youtube Video 
Was boring as hell. Doesn't look like I'm buying dnf. 
It's gonna suffer a lot from Daikatana syndrome, isn't it? No matter how good or bad it might be, most people will already have a preconcieved opinion of it and that's what you're going to hear about more than anything else.

for me, it's definitely the reverse-- it's been so long, i've forgotten any expectations i might have had. 
Duke 3D was meant to be Doom with a sense of humour.
DNF looked like it was going to be Half-Life with a sense of humour. Perhaps this would have been very funny in 2005. Anyhow, this idea got mashed through a CoD/Halo blender and we get this. Seems to have all the annoyances of modern shooters with none of the benefits of old school shooters, and the weapon limit for me is a complete killer, as gimmick weapons loose interest if you can't choose when to fuck around with them.

Also, perhaps I am older but every attempt in DNF to be juvenile just strikes me as desperate, like someone trying way too hard to get attention :p

Is that youtube recorded by the world's most boring man? He has Rocket launchers, railguns and he uses that sodding machine gun for 10 minutes... 
about the weapons and most of the jokes. But will probably get this anyways. 
Up To Hoover Dam 
And enjoyed it a lot so far. Health regen and the two weapon limit barely bother me, seems like any excuse to trash the game based on something so minor in my opinion. That and probably what mh said. Also appears a lot of 'review' sites are hating for the sake of hating it. Kinda sad since it's simply a solid, old school style shooter. 
90% of the gaming press is dogshit.

30% is just wrong, 33% is paid by advertising for the games they 'review' the other 30% is pissed off because its either a) cool to be or b) they hate their job.

Maybe giving them a 10% valid rating is too generous.

Personal opinions are always much more useful. 
7% Even 
it started quite a while ago and it's been a downward spiral for reviews ever since.

now it's either all glowing praise with maybe one or two faults or it's barely over the level of flamebait, like the reviewer is trying to make up for all the good reviews by making his 5x worse.

and if the game had a large budget, you shouldn't even bother with reviews.

even if the review was fair and balanced, seems like all reviewers care about these days is graphics anyway. maybe a small blurb about loading times.

the best way to tell these days is to watch youtube gameplay videos, i guess.

that said, i have never been a fan of the halo two-weapon model. it distills the gameplay down too much. there are no options anymore. i noticed in the second part of the monster truck video, the player had the option to pick up a pistol (colt 1911 i think? whatever...). now, with only two weapons, you'd be pretty dumb to give up the firepower of a railgun or ripper. but at this point, it's not even an option because you'd penalize yourself too much.
and recharging health is just a way to avoid having to balance too much.
i don't know if the weirder duke weapons are in there like the freezer or shrinker, but i'd have a hard time justifying using them as opposed to straight up damage weapons like a shotgun or ripper with only two weapons to choose from.
as for recharging health:
you give a guy infinite ammo, recharging health and 1 tiny bit of cover and they can take out an entire army. there's no balancing going on here, it's just giving infinite resources and then the player just has to invest time to killing everything. 
In a note completely unrelated to DNF (other than it gets it wrong); I like recharging health. I just don't like it obviously recharging in combat.

The ideal would be to have your health recharge between fights to avoid the tedious backtracking to the health pack you left two rooms back so that you're full health for the next fight (no-one is honestly going to convince me that that is good gameplay design/fun/challenging. yes, I know, resource management, however, it's a primitive and archaic way to add such things to a game). However, if you have health regen after 2 seconds of not being shot (hi halo) then as necros points out, it just degrades into one man being able to kill an entire army by being a whack-a-mole-esque rodent. The one good thing about old style hp systems was the necessity to effectively manage a finite resource during combat situations.

The perfect balance would be have the player's hp regen to full after 30 or so seconds of not being shot in the face (the exact time would have to be determined through testing, but long enough to avoid the pop in, pop out, repeat style gameplay of a lot of modern shooters but short enough to not cause annoyance waiting between fights) but have an adrenaline/painkillers/whatever usable item that can be collected/horded and used to create a temporary increase in health during fights. Possibly with diminishing returns on repeat usage and a difficulty-variable rate of deteriation/decay. Voila, resource/collectable management, no backtracking, no grinding whack-a-mole gameplay. Oh, and if a player really wants to spend 30 seconds behind a pillar regening mid fight, I'd like to think that they've either (semi-)successfully evaded their opponents or (in these days of semi intelligent AI) the NPCs would flank/close and cause them a whole host more problems for trying to cower behind a crate mid gun fight.

So yeh. Nothing to do with DNF. (Haven't played it, don't want to play it, the joy of DN3D was the non-linearity, environmental interactivity and exciting gameplay/weapons. DNF seems to lack or undermine most of those. Even as a 14 year old, the appeal was not Duke Nukem. Duke Nukem is an arse.)

Oh, and the RPS review seems pretty fair. 
"have your health recharge between fights"

Just have check points like Painkiller then :E

Although in painkiller they didn't heal on trauma difficulty :p 
How Does This Sound 
A risk system. As you take hits your risk bar increases - if it maxes out then you've taken a critical hit and are killed.

To lower your risk you must do awesome stuff, like killing enemies. The more awesome the feats you perform the more your risk is reduced.

So, scoring more points reduces your risk further.

Its similar to vampirism, but scoring a massive combo reduces your risk to empty almost immediately, even if you took a lot of damage doing it. 
Heard that there were rape jokes in this, how bad are they? 
Rape Spoilers 
Half-way through the game Duke enters the alien hive where all the kidnapped women are held and impregnated (raped) by aliens. He finds the twins that give him a blowjob in the beginning of the game and they apologize for being fat. (apologize for being pregnant (apologize for being raped)) Duke tells them they are fucked (by aliens). Then they explode into gibs and baby octabrains.
NSFW youtube:

The first part of the game is full of misogynistic, dumb, juvenile shit like that. Women prance around with their breasts in full view all over the place. Faggs cigarettes. Absolutely every brand name or name or actually any text at all in the entire game is some sort of pun on either shit, piss or genitals. In the alien hive there are for no reason clusters of breasts hanging from the wall, you can slap these and gain a health bonus. After defeating the alien hive queen (who also has three giant tits) Duke passes out. Then begins a dream sequence where Duke is in a strip club and has to go on a fetch quest to find popcorn, condoms and a dildo. It comes completely out of nowhere, I wish I was making this up.

Everything about the Duke character has become unlikeable trash. He used to be some goofy muscle dude who spouted lame one-liners and gave cash to strippers. Now he's some gross ego-trip of a teenage, objectivist fantasy; Endlessly narcissistic, everyone in the game world adores him and literally wants to suck his cock. He just comes off as such an amazingly repulsive person.

Then the actual game:
Two weapon limit is straight out dumb. It is only there for consoles that easily could have gotten around it with some other weapon selection system.
The vehicle sections are passable, but could have used a lot more polish. The turret scenarios are boring and should have been removed.
Regenerating health is very boring and leads to a lot of just sitting behind cover when you really want to just run up to some monster and shoot it in the face.

But you know?
Besides all this shit?

I think the gameplay was actually good. It is old-school. You circle-strafe aliens and kill them. The weapons are good. (Except the shrinkray and freezer and a lack of ammo at times.)
Enemy variety is good, and only one of them (pig cops) have a hitscan weapon. That's right, you can dodge incoming projectiles! It owns!
There are a couple of underwater levels! That is awesome!
Some of the leveldesign is interesting. Some. Not all.
There are the cool levels where you are shrunken and you get to run around fighting on shelves and stuff, like those gimmick Q3A levels someone made.
There are jumping puzzles. I know I am in the minority, but I love jumping puzzles.
Some areas look really good. (Others look really bad, but not offensively so.)

I took a bunch of screenshots and annotated them while playing:

I played this on a PC with every setting on max, post-processing OFF (because it looks like shit, though I usually love stuff like that).
Installed it on an SSD, so load times were 3-4 secs per level, I hear consoles have really bad load times, upwards of 40-50 secs.

So in conclusion, is this a good game?

It starts horrible, gets better as it goes but keeps inserting amazingly bad low points throughout, the ending sucks, and the subject matter of the game is horrific garbage that no reasonable person above the age of 13 would enjoy.

It is a terrible game. Nobody should spend money on this.

Everybody should play it though... so please go ahead and warez it. 
I Forgot The One Thing That Made Me Laugh 
At the top of the Duke Burger Tower I found two frisbees lying about. I threw one, a generic green one, and it sailed out far, far across the Las Vegas skyline, and I got a health boost.
Then I threw the other one, labeled with the 3DRealms logo, and it fell like a rock.

In hindsight, it was probably just a physics bug, but I laughed at that. 
Lack Of Weapons 
I didnt find this to be a problem at all. Pipe-bombs make a welcome return, and there are always plenty of them lying around. They get their own button. (so now we have three weapons, not two). Also trip-mines get their own button too, so now we have four weapons. After you have unloaded your weapons into a bunch of aliens, there are always weapons lying on the ground. So it really was not a problem. 
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